the yellow backpack

Harvard’s Rules and Precepts 1636:
“Let every student be plainly instructed, and earnestly pressed to consider well, the main end of his life and studies is, to know God and Jesus Christ which is etneral life (John 17:3) and therefore lay Christ at the bottom, as the only foundation of all sound knowledge and learning.”

They must have foreseen that we’d eventually forsake our foundation.
It seems that they were warning us.
Yet, we’re right where they didn’t want us to be.

If the founders were to see our educational systems today, they would grieve.

Naively, I didn’t see a problem.
however, seeing the founders original intention,

I, too, grieve.

Princeton:
“Cursed is all learning that is contrary to the Cross of Christ”
Founding Statement

Columbia University

Where did the dichotomy arise?  Whence came the idea that learning and spiritual growth must be separate? that somehow faith must be put on hold in order to find real knowledge? that Christians cannot be intellectuals or worse, that Christianity is not intelligible?

As I pursue Truth,
I pursue Him.
Now, may it be Truth that I pursue.
Always.

THAT is true learning.

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Last weekend Elizabeth became the first doctor in the family.  She gets an official fancy-schmancy AuD to follow her name and will be working at Arkansas Children’s Hospital.  Oh and she can revolutionize your hearing.  My grandparents can attest.

We spent all weekend in Little Rock with family.  In order for the festivities to begin, the hair needed to be “poofed,” and “poofed” we got it.

Granddaddy was so proud (not of the poof but of the graduate).

I treasure the fact that I grew up in a family that esteems education.

I’ve been on a reading kick lately, and I apologized to my mom for being slightly anti-social.  She chuckled sincerely,

“I always wanted my children to be readers.”

My mom would read to us constantly– in the car line, after school, while we drifted to sleep and first thing in the morning.

Learning is never a loss.

…neither were the hours of piano lessons.  James is a stud.

James graduated two days later, and quietly on the side is happy little Robert.  I keep telling him not grow up, and that’s about the only request he doesn’t obey.  God is going to do something huge with the guy, because already He’s so wise and insightful.

Today he told me he wants to “remember it’s Sunday all day long.”  His heart is focused.

Elizabeth,

I’m proud too.  You’ve set the standard in so many ways.  You’re going to make a great mom.  Yes, MOM.

Congratulations x2!

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Since Easter I’ve been a bit book-crazed.  Maybe it’s the Kindle, or maybe (which I’m sure is more the case)– reading is a productive way to procrastinate.

Two books I highly recommend.

First:  Dug Down Deep by Joshua Harris (no, he’s not going to make me kiss dating goodbye…) 

The book explores how he came to understand and ground his faith.  We’re to build our houses on a solid foundation, but what does that mean? A study of doctrine and orthodoxy shouldn’t scare us away, but rather, they should lead us to understand Truth.  I have an energized excitement about my religion classes now.  Here’s my favorite quote from what I read this morning:

if you want to feel deeply, you have to think deeply.  Too often we separate the two… True emotion– emotion that is reliable and doesn’t lead us stray– is always response to reality, to truth… When we engage our minds with the doctrine of his person and his work, our emotions are given something to stand on, a reason to worship and revel in the very appropriate feelings of awe and gratefulness and adoration.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve also been reading Beth Moore’s So Long Insecurity.  It’s a must read.  Regardless of whether or not you’d peg yourself as insecure, the book reinforces in a practical way what it means to walk in light of God’s freedom and grace.  I’ve learned lots and found areas in my life that stem from insecurity that a few weeks ago I would have passed off as “humility.” oh Caroline.

I also read David Sedaris’ Christmas on Ice, but… yeah, it’s not exactly the most edifying book, though it’s a good laugh.

Read on, my friends.

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I rolled my eyes at this book the first time I saw it.  I put the book into the category of Joel Osteen lies (is that too harsh?) and expected it to be ignorant promises made to that naive niche of Christians that thrives on prosperity-theology.

However, there’s a developing theme to this blog: I misjudged.  Note the subtitle: spiritual disciplines for ordinary people.  I’m ordinary.  We all are, and we all need discipline. So, I read on.

This semester has, at times, been overwhelming and the only way to characterize it is living in a state of rush.  I planned activities so close together that even teleporting wouldn’t have made it possible.  Any delay sent panic through my being, aggravating frustration, and the whole time I was always right and everyone else was wrong.  With the help of the this book, some honest friends, and conviction, I’ve begun to see this simple truth: I have 24 hours just like everyone else.  Rest, my friends, is a spiritual discipline.

After a week of practice, here are some changes I’ve made that have revolutionized my world.

1. By saying no, I’ve allowed my mind to live in the present instead of constantly planning how I was going to overcome the impossible.  Taking out even activities I want to do has allowed me to enjoy the activities I actually do.  If eating out with friends is going to take too long, I stay home.  My day’s arbitrary tasks can go unmet and the world still turns.  This simple act (which is an age-old piece of advice) has allowed me to be a better listener and be more patient on the phone (and actually answer it). When my schedule was packed, my mind was muddled.

It’s like how your computer runs faster without 10 trillion (deficit, yeah?) open.  Close those babies.  Apple key Q. Gone.

2.  Exercise, and if possible, in the morning.  When my body is intentionally strained, it feels accomplished.  My mind is alert and I am not nearly as dependent on coffee.  Coffee Consumption was in need of intervention.

3.  White Noise.  I just learned what this was– it’s a steady noise that acts as an active noise cancellation.  It allows me to feel like I’m in a silent room when I’m not.  My roommates music is loud, but my room is silent.  Check it out.

4.  Read.  My classes are heavy reading.  For my ethics class, our assignments are analytical and philosophical and for writing, I often lose sight of content because I’m so focused on style.  By reading for mere entertainment, my mind is set free.  Plus, reading motivates and energizes me.

5. Pray.  This has been my anthem this semester, and yet, I am “prone to wander Lord I feel it.”  Whenever I move from the momentary physcial world and begin to talk to an eternal omni-present God, focuses change.  They have to.

Tonight I walked to dinner, played catch until my hands burned, walked to the bank, mailed a letter, and ate frozen yogurt with gummy worms.  Do you know what the best part was? I wasn’t in a rush so I actually enjoyed it.

P.S. The Mrs. Susan Gear came home today.  Bothwell missed her.

2 Comments | In: Uncategorized | tags: reading, Simple Joys, spiritual musings. | #

I just finished reading about prisons. I caught myself slightly depressed, and it didn’t help that I was in the airport and watching it rain.

I read about Marion Prison in Illinois—previously one of the highest security penitentiaries in the United States— and one that is regularly visiting the courts because its measures are questionably unconstitutional.

I read about how to make alcohol in the toilet with cornflakes and about a guard watching his father being stabbed to death.

I read about how inmates would kill just so they could go to court.  Court meant seeing the outdoors and remembering what grass looked like.

I tried to imagine living in a cell with no windows for 23 hours a day.
Being deprived of family and friends.
of communication.

Of light and colors.

And sanity.

…Essentially being deprived of all freedom and hope and that freedom being replaced with monotony, yelling, beatings, and violence.

Right now I’m some 27,000 feet in the air, watching the sun set, sitting next to one of those 25 year olds that still plays with Pokemon cards.  Though I’m slightly tense because he’s wearing a hood and sunglasses, his obsession which his cards relieve me.  I’m well on my way to visit my buddy Sarah in Phoenix.  I’m stoked.

The prison keeps popping into my head though, and with all of the other deprivations I’m then led to wonder what these people did to get transferred in severe solitude, surrounded by hatred and emitting the darkest bitterness, violence, and trapped in… hell.

The essay ended with a prisoner admitting he deserved his newfound hell.  He said,

“would I try to escape? of course.”

He knew he deserved it and yet it changed nothing.  He was stuck there.

I don’t like captivity, but I was doomed to be just like the prisoner.  Until, knowing the Truth I was set free (John 8:32).

I am merely a college student, striving to do what is right, and though I have never murdered anyone and my gun experience is limited to shooting cans with bb gun, my sins damn me to hell.  Hell is worse than the prison.  And I deserve it.

Freedom tastes so much more real when you consider the alternative.

I’m going to stare out the window more and thank my Jesus for his death and resurrection which conquer ALL sin.

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