Incarnational… Zumba?

Posted by Caroline on Mar 23, 2012 in Orthopraxis | 1 comment

I want these girls to know, really really know…

they were created with PURPOSE

they are loved with a love they cannot comprehend

they do not need to fight and get angry to be noticed

they are not fat at age 9

they have an eternal father who is deeply interested in them & will never stand them up

I want them to know Christ.  The more I see the more I know Christ is the only hope.  & the biggest, truest, surest everlasting HOPE.

Oh God, give divine purpose to every single thing our church does; only you can give divine, restorative purpose to something like… Zumba.  God, you are good, so very good.  and sometimes funny too.

Dance on.

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Sounds simple enough right? Ha.

Posted by Caroline on Mar 23, 2012 in journey to marriage | 0 comments

{Marriage 101 Guest Post}

My name is Lauren Newman Burge and I just married the love of my life, Ben Burge, a little over a year ago. Ben and I both attended Baylor University and graduated in 2005. We did not; however, truly meet until we both started attending Prestonwood Baptist Church in Plano, TX right after graduation.  We live in Frisco, TX where I work for my family’s company, Newman Real Estate, and Ben is a financial analyst for RealPage.

“You complete me.”

Anyone else want to roll their eyes at this quote??  This is the quote that Hollywood has decided to build “love” around. It now has an entire generation of people searching for that perfect person that will balance out every insecurity, fault,  and weakness. I have to admit, I was a victim of this thought process.

I kept wondering why no one ever matched up to “my” standards.

I had to figure it out the hard way. Through the years, the Lord taught me that it is not about “my” standards at all. It is about His.

My name is Lauren Newman Burge. I graduated Baylor University in 2005 and was one of the rare girls that I did not get the “Ring by Spring.” In fact, I had completely forgotten to fall in love at all in college!  I was focused on career, friends, and having a great time. Over time though, I realized that I eventually did want to settle down. I dated and could not figure out why nothing seemed to work out.

Little did I know, the Lord was just preparing me and my future husband, Ben, for each other.

We both ended up at the same church in Plano, TX, where we recognized each other from college, but really did not know each other at all. We began a friendship, remained friends even while we dated other people, and then finally dated each other for 3 years before we tied the knot.

God took us on separate journeys that eventually ended up joined together 5 years later. Patience and trusting God’s timing was obviously a big lesson over the 5 years.

God had a lot to do in both of our lives before we were to be together. A lesson he taught us both early on was that one other person does not complete you. Think about it.

Do you really want half of a person??  Do you want to be half of a person?? No! You want a whole person.

God intended you to be a whole person. God is the one that needs to complete people. Ben and I learned right off the bat that if we were going to be everything we could for the other, we had to be complete in our own lives with the Lord before we could ever even attempt to be the support, love, servant, and partner for the other person.

When asked to write this blog and give a piece of advice, it was really hard for me to think of one specific task or thought. We just celebrated our one year anniversary a few weeks ago, and to try to condense what I’ve learned over the past year is a difficult task. Since I was almost 28 when I got married, several of my friends were already married. Most of them did not hesitate to give me what they thought to be words of wisdom or advice. The truth is, every couple is different. You have to take everything you hear and realize that it is coming from a different point of view than yours. Not all advice is wrong, you just need to always check it with the one constant in your life….which is not your significant other, it’s the Lord.

People waver. The Lord does not.

The one consistent piece of advice that I got from everyone whether it is friends in a similar stage of life, a couple which has been married for 50+ years, a church preacher, or even our parents, was

“Keep the Lord first in both of your lives.” Sounds simple enough right? Ha.

This past year I have really begun to think about this statement. It seems to be everyone’s broad, vague “Go-to” line for new couples. Or, everyone’s secret to a successful marriage. Seriously, though….what does that mean?  My best instruction to dating, engaged, newlywed, and married couples would be to figure out what “keeping God in the center of your relationship” truly means to them specifically. It is different for everyone. I think it will be a lifetime of striving to do. I do not think there is one task you can do daily to make this statement true. I do know that the Lord gives us guidance that He specifically lists in His Word though.

Pray for one another and together

Never underestimate this. When you are consistently praying for your partner, it makes it all the more difficult to be short with them or see them as inadequate. You want the best for them.  You will want to see them in a positive light. It also only improves trust as well. When you know someone is praying for you, it will only increase your confidence in yourself and your relationship. When you pray together, it opens up the doors of transparency even wider. This truly is one of the most intimate things a couple can do. This is a little different for couples that are just dating though. I’m all about praying individually for one another and at the dinner table, but intimate prayer together needs to be saved for engaged and married couples. This is an extremely vulnerable task.

Serve Together

Another way to learn what keeping the Lord first in your relationship means for you is to serve together. Find an outlet to serve others alongside your significant other. This can be anything from volunteering in a ministry, serving the homeless, mentoring teens, etc. Seeing the other person serve others can truly be one of the most attractive characteristics about a person. When Ben and I were just dating, I saw him disciple younger high school guys in their walk with the Lord. When I saw how much he cared and was willing to be so selfless, I could not help but think what a great leader of a home he would be. Seeing your significant other step up and serve is one way to see them put the Lord first in their lives. Once you’ve served others, you will be much more eager to serve your spouse.

Put Solid Practices into Place Early

Once last tip on how to make the Lord the center of your relationship is to put things that you know will strengthen a marriage into practice sooner than later. Get into healthy habits like attending church regularly, continuing to date and even things like tithing. If you do not start tithing now, which by the way is biblical, what makes you think you will do it later. Every time you do not tithe, you are missing out on blessings God has in store for you. Consider it a heavenly investment. Ben and I know that the blessings we have, especially in this economy, are because God is faithful when we are faithful.

Like I said before, God being in the center of a relationship looks different for everyone. I hope that every couple that reads this can find little ways that they can learn to keep the Lord first in their lives. It will be a lifelong challenge to do, but as long as you are trying, God will reveal Himself to you in new and exciting ways. As long as He is completing the individual first, He will use you as two whole people to impact His Kingdom together.

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Spring has Sprung!

Posted by Caroline on Mar 20, 2012 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

I just realized it is officially the first day of spring!  Today is technically defined as spring because the tilt of the Earth’s axis is inclined neither away from nor towards the Sun.  The hours of day and night are now equal, and therefore today is an equinox.

When I think of spring I don’t think of the equinox.  I think of…

warmer weather, the spring semester, my sister’s April birthday, spring break, shorts & dresses, & flowers blooming.

When it was freezing earlier this winter I remember longing for spring, but had someone not mentioned spring in class, I would have missed this new season.

How often I long for the future and new seasons and then they seamlessly arrive without a second thought.  The change of seasons comes without fail.  I love that.  Regardless of whether or not I remember to usher in spring, it comes.  Even if I forget about spring, it comes.  It has come.

Seasons come and go.  Battles I didn’t think I could endure, I triumphed.  God answers prayer even when I don’t recognize it.

I miss out when I don’t slow down and acknowledge these wonders.

I love that God doesn’t need me to remember to usher in Spring.  I also love that he lets me see Spring ushered in.

Spring 2012.

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Honeymoon Tea :)

Posted by Caroline on Mar 17, 2012 in journey to marriage | 1 comment

Why did we ever stop having tea parties?

Both of my grandmothers, my mom, and future mother-in-law at this morning’s Honeymoon Tea.  

I say we revert to 4-year-old girls and have tea parties every afternoon as we play dress up in our mother’s clothes (my outfit is 70-esque, right?!)

Such a perfect ending to a week full of wedding planning.  Nothing like a 9 hour drive tomorrow to reintroduce me to reality.  Texas, I’m coming back.

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Ultimate Source of Love

Posted by Caroline on Mar 16, 2012 in journey to marriage | 2 comments

                    {Marriage 101 Guest Blog Post}

Name: Tessa Redel
Husband: Kyle Redel
Married: 5 years
Occupation: Church planters

I love fried pickles  (no really, they are my favorite and I could eat them with every meal.)  I love my dog; I love coffee, and I love playing ping-pong….I also, love my husband.  It’s funny how the same word used to describe my feeling toward fried pickles and my dog is also how I would describe my feelings about my husband.  Surely I don’t feel the same way about my dog as I do my husband?

I am obviously talking about a very different kind of Love.

The type of Love that a marriage is built on has very little to do with emotions or feelings and has everything to do with a conscious understanding, that in order to love my spouse, I must daily grow in attitude of selflessness.  In fact…

true love should never simply be based on feelings, but rather founded on the continual choice of selfless commitment to yield to each others’ greater good.

So I guess in order to explain what I mean, I should back up a few steps.  Do you remember that famous movie where Tom Cruise looks into the eyes of Renee Zellweger and in a sappy love-stricken voice says, “You complete me” (Stay with me I’m getting somewhere with this…) and then she looks back at him and response with the ever so eloquent “you had me at hello.”  The audience went wild and women across America all let out a huge sigh, wiping a single tear from their eye.  It was an epic moment.

Okay, as romantic as that may seem it could not be further from reality.  No man or women should ever, or could ever, complete you.

There is only one that should ever, could ever, or will ever complete you.  His name is Jesus Christ.

You see, this is the beginning of understanding love.   When you put your spouse in a place where he or she completes you, what you are actually doing is putting them in a role they were never designed to fill.  And you are only setting them up to fall short.

I have the greatest husband of all time.  Seriously, there is no one quite like him.  He can make me laugh like no body else, he is strong and gentle all at the same time and when he walks into a room I still get the butterflies.  As great as he is and as much as I love him, he in no way can fulfill me like the love I find in Christ.  In Christ I find my completion, my satisfaction, my worth, identity and in Him I find true love.  The love I have for my husband only complements the love I have for Christ.

It is a desire of my heart to love my husband well and to be a great wife, but unless I understand this, I will never be the wife that God intended me to be.

To love my husband well, I must understand where the source of love comes from and this is the beginning and end of true love.

So let’s get practical -

Kyle and I have been married for 5 years and do not pretend, even for a minute, to have marriage all figured out.  We are learning, and will keep learning until the day we die…but we have learned a few things along the way.  Here are some practical suggestions to pave the way for a healthy marriage

1. Stay in the WORD – Things get loopy quick when this is absent from your marriage

2. Find a local church and get involved – Doing life with others makes all the difference

3. Don’t be afraid of counseling – pre-marriage and during marriage – It’s not taboo; its biblical – Seek wise counsel

4.  Have fun together and make time for just the two of you – Life gets crazy and life gets busy.  Schedule time into the week that you guard with your life.

5. Flirt – enough said!

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